November 20, 2008

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

Post Thanksgiving

I'm finding it very hard lately to not be negative, so I will try and keep this short. I don't like focusing so much on the negative, but something seems to have taken over me lately. I'm not myself. I'm frustrated by these cycles I seem to keep putting myself through. Things are going well...food intake is good, a little exercise, lots of water...then sliiiiide down. It's not a fast slide, but a slow one until I seem to hit bottom before gaining the strength to dig my feet in and start climbing back to the top. Luckily, this part of the cycle is shorter in length than they used to be, but they are still there. How do you do it? How can I get to the point where I don't have this part of my life anymore? Why do I still find it so hard to get back to my feet? Why do I have to fall so far before my brain says "Hey! stop doing that now!"?

Sorry, like I said, I'm not myself. I was feeling good with that 15 lb loss..but it seemed like it didn't phase anyone and once again, I let others get to me instead of just relying on myself and enjoying this victory to keep going.

I know that other stresses in my life are contributing to this and I can't do anything about those except pray on it and work on not letting it get to me so much because some of it, there's nothing I can do about it, so I just need to keep going and do the best job I can. Wow, talk about a run on sentence....

Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 21, 2008

In the classroom

I do love teaching PreK and K...they come up with the funnies things sometimes.

We were in the basement today in the computer lab and one of my 4 year olds (a little pixie of a girl) needed to use the bathroom down there. So, I walked her over to the bathroom and waited for her (we have one in our class that she's used to using).

After several moments in which i can hear her in the stall:
E: I must be constipated, because I can't go to the bathroom right now (the only 4 year old I know who knows the word constipated)

she hops off the toilet and I hear as she's getting her clothes settled:
E: I really have to pay attention to all these clothes my mom put on me today

Me: so you can stay warm today?

E: yeah



And one of my Kindergartners told me the other day while we were talking about juice "I don't like juice much, I just can't get excited about it."

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Doing a little happy dance

But just a little one. :) It goes back to the whole emotions playing a role in my weight loss or gain as the case may be. To be sure, I am happy for another week gone well. :) :) I have found though, that with feeling really (really, really) bad about weight gain, feeling really (really, really) good about loss can be just has detrimental to my efforts. Keeping an even keel, keeping my head about me and continue to do make the changes I have been making is one of the final pieces of this puzzle called "how do I lose weight".

If you didn't notice the pretty button at the top from Scale Junkie I am now at a lovely 15 lb loss. :) One friend mentioned this weekend that she can see a difference, but I haven't noticed one really yet except for one: the 3x T- shirt I wore for bowling on Saturday no longer "caught" around my hips...but slid smoothly down over them completely. In a little while, I believe I'll be back comfortably in my 2x shirts. (who'd a thunk I'd ever be happy saying that statement??)

I am heading out of town this weekend. Lots of ops to throw in the towel..but always in the back of my head I remember that the same metabolism that is able to lose so quickly in the beginning is responsible for gaining it all back just as quickly if I go too far off plan.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Starting another week and HYC

Another long week is upon me. Every night this week and the weekend are occupied with some sort of plan or another. While I do enjoy the time going by quickly, it doesn't leave much time to catch my breath.

Update on goals for November:
Still have had no chips for this month even though ops have presented themselves!
I don't seem to be on track for the 20 days of working out, but I have a calendar on my vision board and I'm pleased with how many days I've colored in as having worked out :)
I'm still 13 lbs lighter than when September started!!!

Overall, I am pleased with how things are progressing. I have stresses in my life and yet I am not as tempted to turn to food and my eating has kept on pace with what I want. I've even gone off plan a couple of times, but they haven't turned into downslides. I am grateful that this path is ahead of me and I continue walking it. The thing that feels different this time is that it's not a euphoria that's keeping me going. I feel very even keeled, keeping my head and wits about me and I think that better equips me when bumps come along, I can take them in better stride.

I think my major theme this year has been "follow through". There are many areas of my life that I just have not put my full energy into and not following through on things that I say I'm going to do. This includes my job, my position as Treasurer at church, losing weight, etc. It feel much better when I do take care of these things. Weights I didn't know I was carrying seem to be lifted each time even a small task is accomplished that I have let go or not followed through to the end. Many people bemoan turning 30...I think this has been one of my best years yet and I can't wait for more to come!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Busy, busy, busy

This week has been really busy, as usual, and the weekend is not going to be a time of slowing down either. I rather like it because it has actually been helping me to keep on track and keep my feelings under control..which keeps the emotional eating to nil. I love it when I can deal with my stresses and emotions in ways other than with food. it's been great to help take off so much weight this fall. I know that I won't be perfect forever, but I celebrate the times I can do it and they are coming more often and staying longer. I realize 13 lbs isn't a lot to some of you who have lost more than that, but I am pretty excited about it here and it kept me focused on Wednesday when I was faced with junk food and will keep me focused this weekend when things are going to be crazy busy. I know that in the beginning, my metabolism is still adjusting and I recently realized the same factors that help take off the weight so quickly in the beginning also help put it back on quickly. Keeping that in mind helps me to keep going even if I feel like throwing in the towel and having maybe a little extra here, or extra there. Right now, every little bit is hurting me and I need to keep on keeping on and I'll get to where I want to be.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wordless Wednesday (with some words)



This is my mom and me taken this summer. My mom means the world to me. She has the biggest heart I've ever known and will do anything for her kids. Just in the last 2 weeks, she's lent me her car while mine was in the shop and tonight she is helping me out by setting up a table of candles that I'm going to sell because I can't get there until after school.

Things have been so crazy busy lately, that I haven't had much time to post or get around to other blogs lately. (I'm sorry! I will get to them as soon as I can!) But I have a SV and a NSV for this week to share! I stepped on the scale this morning and it read a beautiful 13 lbs lighter than I started earlier this fall! I haven't noticed too many differences except one...when I went to put on the pair of pants I use when I work on the gazelle...they slid over my big belly just a little easier than normal :) (NSV number 1) NSV number two was lunch today. The hardest lunch I have ever eaten. I ate: 1 hot dog, water, and an apple. not a big deal, I know (esp you non hot dog eaters), but what I didn't add to that was the second hot dog, the chips, and the oreos that were also available that EVERYONE ELSE WAS EATING! that's the hardest part! I know I should be an individual, but sometimes, i want to be like everyone else!! It's hard to remind myself that I'm not, I am trying to lose 100+ lbs and skipping it for now is going to help me in the long run. That number 13 is going to be lucky for me today :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

November Goals

I started this post earlier today, but it's been a busy day. It's our only full day of school this week. We had yesterday off because of election day and we are a polling place, and our principal decided to give us monday off too. Man, he couldn't have picked two better days to be off! Both days were like 70+ and sunny! It was perfect! Tomorrow and Friday are Parent/Teacher conferences, so we only have half days. I have so few students this year and they all wanted early times to meet with me, so I'll be done early those days. (more time to clean and organize since my room has gotten a bit messy and cluttered)

Anyway, off the subject already. I wanted to post my goals here to make sure I stay accountable for them...which is crazy because it addresses two issues I've had for a long time and yet, they seem to have waned a bit. One - I used to hate making goals for myself. I just felt that if I didn't reach them I would feel even worse than I already did, so why put myself through that? Two - I've used "accountability" as an excuse for a really long time. I would read everywhere that you should have someone buddy up with you because that helps and you keep each other accountable, etc, etc. I had myself convinced that I *needed* someone and that I was totally unable to do it on my own and that's why I kept failing over and over again. Of course, that's just a bunch of BS, but at the time I was quite convinced of it. I have taken over control of my actions and responsibility for it. And I am just posting this out there so that if anyone wants to, they can help me be accountable for my goals this month..encourage me or kick my butt if I'm slacking off ;)

OK...so there aren't that many, but they'll keep me going. I put up my vision board and on it is a calendar to keep track of the days I work out and what I do on those days. I figure with 30 days in the month, my first goal is to work out for 20 of them. The other goal I have for this month is no chips. I eat a small bag of them like once a day and this month, it's time to go without.

Alas..it's time to get my students up from nap time and do some evaluations. Have a great day and a great month!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Keep your eye on the prize - part 2

In the aftermath of the stress-filled week I had a couple weeks ago, I went into a tired, self pity mode. Feeling bad about the choices I had made. Thinking about J, the guy I have a huge crush on and making myself feel worse by believing that there are so few guys like him left and they will be all snatched up because they would never look at me twice because of how I look...etc, etc..you get the idea. The more I thought about him, the more my focus was pulled away from all the good things I am working on and the worse I felt.

This weekend I have spent a lot of time praying and pulling my focus back on the lifestyle changes I am making. The result is that I am feeling much better and making better choices. MizFit had a great message today about taglines I got to thinking about what mine would be and how I'm living my life now and thought that I would be spending most of the day pondering it, but I think I've already found it: Keep Your Eye On The Prize. As long as I stay focused on what I want, filter out the other bad stuff, I can keep moving forward and do anything! It covers what I want for my physical activity, my spiritual life, everything. I may even change the title and tagline on my blog to reflect my new focus.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Keep your eye on the prize

OK....the scale has been crazy the past couple of days..fluctuating + and - 5 lbs. Doesn't really matter what the actual number is, the bottom line is that it's higher than before. I funked about it for a little bit, but it didn't last and my resolve is back.

So, the problem is: stress kills me. Foodwise anyway. I can hear my brain working overtime now, arguing with myself because I have it finally trained in my head that eating food for comfort is really no comfort at all (although the old me is still acting out that way...but we're working on it). So, I'm thinking that my solution could be to come up with that one (or two) thoughts that are strong enough to hold in my head during those times of stress, and to truly find a better way to comfort myself during those high stress times. Life is not going to be free from stress and ignoring the fact that I don't know how to deal with it is not going to help me get healthy. I've read enough articles on the subject, I have enough information (read a book, go for a walk, etc, etc), it's just a matter of striking the right one for me.

It shouldn't be this complicated. :P It wasn't this hard to put the weight on, it should be easy to take it off again..lol