Keep your eye on the prize

OK....the scale has been crazy the past couple of days..fluctuating + and - 5 lbs. Doesn't really matter what the actual number is, the bottom line is that it's higher than before. I funked about it for a little bit, but it didn't last and my resolve is back.

So, the problem is: stress kills me. Foodwise anyway. I can hear my brain working overtime now, arguing with myself because I have it finally trained in my head that eating food for comfort is really no comfort at all (although the old me is still acting out that way...but we're working on it). So, I'm thinking that my solution could be to come up with that one (or two) thoughts that are strong enough to hold in my head during those times of stress, and to truly find a better way to comfort myself during those high stress times. Life is not going to be free from stress and ignoring the fact that I don't know how to deal with it is not going to help me get healthy. I've read enough articles on the subject, I have enough information (read a book, go for a walk, etc, etc), it's just a matter of striking the right one for me.

It shouldn't be this complicated. :P It wasn't this hard to put the weight on, it should be easy to take it off again..lol

Wordless Wednesday

The love of my life: my nephew, Alan Patrick. He is one of the main reasons I keep moving my butt...I don't want him to understand how big I am.

What a week

I now know what the words "information overload" mean. I'm still sittin on it, and it's been 3 days since the end of the conference. I was there from Wednesday afternoon until Friday afternoon...a very intense, fact filled week which included sitting in a chair for about 17 hours over the 3 days. (But I did manage to get a mile walked on the treadmill at the hotel Thurs and Fri. mornings!) Not only was it a lot of information, but I believe it was a lot of things that could save my school, so my brain is rattling around the information over and over again. It's been hard to concentrate on other things, including getting back to my lesson plans (I was saved from that today because school was closed)

As far as eating goes, I did what I planned on doing. I didn't eat like a person trying to lose weight, but I didn't overindulge by letting my emotions guide me. I really don't feel like getting back into the game, esp considering I did a preliminary check on the scale this evening, and almost, no, scratch that, all of my work since September has been ruined and gained back. I really want to use these things as an excuse (like I did in the past) to spend at least a month or so just sliding and eating and eating and sliding. But that's not what I really want and that's not what I'm going to do. I'm going back to the beginning and concentrate on 4 things: drink lots of water, get on my Gazelle at least 20 min every other day, watch my portions, and journal everything.

Homework for tonight before going to sleep: stretch and visualize myself hiking up a mountain (something I want to get in shape to do - literally and figuratively)

Lesson learned

No matter what else is going on in my life, there is no reason for me to be acting like this. I do not need to treat food or my body like this. The last several days have been crazy stressful as I prepare for this conference and substitute. And I have been stuffing my face so fast - my stomach doesn't know what hit it. Any and every opportunity to grab some food has been taken. Doughnuts, chips, hot dogs, ice cream, nachos, beef sandwiches, meatballs, cracker sandwiches, pop tarts, Arby's, Papa John's...the list goes on. I totally and completely buckled under the pressures and stress at my job and I'm done with it. At least, starting to make more positive changes and choices to get back where I was mentally and emotionally. It's scary how easily I slipped back and spiraled out of control. I felt like screaming for help, like I was drowning and needed a life preserver to save me. I guess I had forgotten that I already know how to swim. After a couple of deep breaths (thank you!), I think I am starting back to where I want to be and swim toward my goal again. I am going to be gone the next couple of days and the weekend...I am not going to stress about what I am eating, but no overeating and binging. With everything going on - my goal is to really get back to the Gazelle and doing what I need to do to keep going. The good news is that the hotel has a fitness center. If nothing else, a mile or so on the treadmill will start the day off well :)

Help

It's 10:30 in the morning...and I've already consumed about 32 oz of water and about 1500 calories (maybe more) I can't seem to get a grip on myself and the issues and the stress facing me in the next week and something's gotta go and so it was the food...I need it back..I cannot continue like this.

NSV Thursday

With the weekend coming up (and we know we slack off during the weekend), I thought now would be a good chance to start a tradition and count our non scale victories for the week. I've been trying to start this post all day, but it seems I am being pulled in too many directions mentally and it's just one of those kind of days. yesterday eating sucked a**, and today didn't start off the greatest, but not horrible. I need something positive to push me over this hump, so here are some of my victories this week:

~~~I started working out on my new gazelle this weekend! It arrived on Friday afternoon and after several hours of working on it, I got it set up. I tested it out a couple times (no shoes) just to get the feel for it. It says it accepts my weight, but it's a little snug on the width! When I put shoes on for the first real "workout", my feet did indeed hurt! I figured I must have been doing something wrong and I could only do the beginners - 10 minute workout. The next time was the same, but on Tuesday when I did it, must have been doing something different because no feet hurting and I did the 20 minute intermediate workout! I knew it was perfect because the last 2 min were a struggle, but I did it!


~~~The weekend went much smoother than normal! I put my plan into action that I use during the week and it worked! I said no a couple of times I wanted to say yes and it was great!

~~~The 2 mile walking seems to be more regular now. I was alternating with a 1 mile stretch, but the last couple of times has been strictly 2 miles.

~~~I have more energy!!! Woohoo! It's not a big difference yet, but I can tell that I can't just sit on the couch anymore like I used to, not only do I want to get up and do something, it's like I almost half to! It's a great feeling! One of the problems I have had with buying this house is keeping up with the upkeep! I can get by on the inside and keeping it sort of clean, but having major problems getting the energy to get outside and work out there. I am encouraged that by keeping this up, when winter and snow comes and then spring...I'll be better at getting outside to work and having the energy to make it look fabulous!

~~~Every day during the week I have been able to get all my water in!! Just gotta work on those darn weekends!

What are your NSV's for this week??

Wordless Wednesday

Time seems to be in short supply these days, not much time for blogging. But I wanted to show off my babies...the big one is Ashes and the little one is Peanut. I don't know what I'd do without them! I got the little one earlier this summer and has been great for Ashes as a playmate and in general - an annoying little sister ;) I realize I am soon on my way to being a "crazy cat lady" but I don't care! I love my little ones to bits! Have a great day!