Keep on keepin' on

Renewed efforts. Consistency. Keep on, keepin’ on. It’s hard. But it’s not as hard as the consequences of constant indulgence (thanks Chuck!). I am living proof of these consequences. It’s written all over my body from head to toe. Morbid obesity. Knee problems. The outside is shielding the inside and preventing her from coming out and being herself. Hiding from the world. I don’t want to hide anymore and I want to stop looking for the greener pasture. It’s only going to get greener if I put the effort into making it green. Yesterday – didn’t make all the choices I wanted. But the world did not and will not end. Neither has my focus…it just got blurred with the bad day I had. Today, things are clear again. I have not stepped on the scale since last Friday when it showed a 7 lb loss. I know that this week has not been as disciplined as the week before and I don’t want the number to deter me from my ultimate goal of living and being healthy. All these little excuses to convince yourself it’s ok to eat can really add up! Much more than I ever thought possible. I knew I was an emotional and comfort eater, but I never realized how often those kinds of thoughts would cross my mind when the climate is less than perfect (and I’m not talking about the weather!), and how often I wouldn't even think about it and just give in to it. I am also finding that I am plagued by wanting to give in. Perhaps as I keep moving forward, it will get easier and easier not to give in. On some days it’s very easy not to give in, others are hard.

I’m kinda all over the place this morning but this is one of those rare times that I feel that I’m not just planning my journey, I’m actually on it and living it. Learning from what mistakes I am making and not letting them destroy my efforts and victories. It’s hard. But it’s worth to keep on keepin’ on.