Still here

Not that I get all that many visitors and comments, but it's still a great outlet and I love surfing around to see what's going on with other people.

Things have been going pretty good here! The weekend held some expected yet unexpected situations (and I suck at those!), and so overeating ensued. Monday morning, I wrote down a plan for the next time I am faced with a buffet of delicious appetizers and drinks at a friend's house (or anywhere else for that matter). One of my never ending excuses for overeating is: free food equals free for all for me. Wrong-o! Not gonna do it anymore (or at least work harder at it). Monday morning I was back in business, back to routine, back to the eating plan. Tuesday night I was faced with going out to eat with some friends. Normally, this is also an excuse to eat what I want and just say WTF with the whole thing. Thanks to a conversation before hand and a determined Tracy...it didn't happen! I enjoyed 1 beer (it was at a brewery, I had to try it!),ignored the appetizer my friend ordered and I ordered some of the most delicious mac and cheese with chicken I have ever had! it came with a salad (no dressing), I ate enough to make me satisfied (maybe one bite more!) and set it aside...took the rest home and got two more meals out of it. What a NSV that was!!!

For another NSV this week, I also upped my walking twice this week to 2 miles instead of just one!

I stepped on the scale prematurely (friday is weigh in day) and it read the same as last week. I'm good with that. My NSV's include better habits forming and walking the walk and not just talking the talk and it feels pretty flipping good! The rest will start to happen as well. I did order the Gazelle and I hope that it will be here soon since it's getting chilly out and dark too early now.

I hope everyone has a great week and weekend :) Keep up the great progress!

Another week finished

Oh, the scale took off some more weight this week :)

273.0 Total since beg of September: 8 lbs.

I am totally happy with those numbers! I haven't been this consistent in a long time!

The end of this week has started straining on me a little, but I made some decisions that I didn't think I would ever be able to make! Between feeling sorry for myself, getting off schedule, off routine and thinking I needed BK for breakfast (oh and the pants that were too snug), I had many reasons to throw the towel in again. I must have realized that it wasn't worth it because I didn't do it! I decided to change my routine, I didn't go to BK and rejuvenated my plans to find a way to get moving more often. My mantra today is "It's a free day, not a binge day!" so that I can relax a little, but not go overboard if I am feeling a little emotional and feel like going overboard for some reason. I find that more and more when presented with opportunities that in the past I would have jumped at the chance to do (like BK or eating seconds) I don't take them as often as I did. I really have changed enough on the inside so that I can change what is on the outside.

I've also realized some of the things that really motivate me, not just what I think will motivate me. I enjoy watching TV so if I do get a workout machine, it's going right in front of the TV so that when I feel the need to watch, I will be walking (or something) at the same time. My new nephew is also a strong motivator. I don't want him to know how big his auntie T is and when he's big enough, I want to be able to keep up with him. Others include cute clothes, health (no more bad knee), and the hot guy I have a crush on. logically I know that if I lose weight that doesn't mean he's going to notice me any more or less than he does now, but I know it'll open doors to others who will take notice the right way rather than the wrong way.

What motivates you? what keeps you going day after day after day?

HYC check in

Things have been going pretty good over here! I spent about a week and a half off track, but I got back on last week during a package of PB cracker sandwiches (which are sitting as a reminder on my desk). Since the beginning of September, I am still down 7 lbs. I will be weighing in on Friday morning. I found I really like weighing in on Friday. I am starting to settle into a routine of staying pretty strict during the week and then loosening up during the weekend (not hot fudge sundae loose), just not worrying so much and beating myself up if I don't stay as completely strict as I do during the week. It seems to be working to keep me on track and we'll see how the numbers show on the scale on Friday. My monthly (or not so monthly) visit showed up today so we'll see how things look on Friday morning, but I won't be discouraged! I am continuing to do my morning walks although they are still only 30 min mile. It feels good and my knee isn't too messed up.

I did see an infomercial last night for Tony Little's Gazelle and pondering the purchase of one. It seems pretty low impact, which is good for my knee, and would be good indoors for when the weather starts getting really cold for walking (don't really care to walk in cold weather).

I hope everyone has a great week! :)

New Dish

In order to reach my goal of being a healthier person, I need to learn to ocok better dishes than hot dogs and sandwiches. A couple of weeks ago, I started making a dish called Salsa Chicken (which is sooo good!) and still basically using pre-packaged side dishes (one step at a time). Last night I actually threw something together that was entirely me! i was so excited when it actually turned out to be really delicious! So here's my first recipe to share with all of you. the best part is that you can tailor it as you like.

Ingredients:

1 bag of frozen corn
1 plum tomato
1 red pepper
red onion
seasoning
cooking oil

Chop up the tomato, pepper and onion (I only used a slice and a half)

Put a little oil in the pan and let it heat a minute or so and then add all the ingredients. I put them all in at the same time, which left the veggies a little crunchy (my preference - don't care for cooked soggy veggies), and so flavorful! I used a little taco seasoning for spice since I was going for a more mexican feel, but you can definitely change is up depending on the meal.


Here is a picture of the finished product:

Floating again

No more falling! And it feels great!

Wednesday afternoon...as i was working through the 4th package of PB sandwich crackers, I had an image of what I was doing to myself...the fat packing on, the numbers going up...280 again...290...300. Woah. I've thought that number before..but it did it. I put the rest of the package down (it's still sitting on my desk) and I haven't gone back. That night I finally got to the store, got my supplies and food, and yesterday planned it out and followed it beautifully despite a stressful meeting that was facing me that night. today I have started again even though more PB crackers face me...I haven't touched them. I have also kept up all the walking this week. Only one mile per morning, but it feels good and it's something. The scale this morning said 4 lbs lighter! I'm very happy about all of this! But mostly I am happy about feeling in better control.

My students never fail to amaze me in their powers of deduction. The following conversation occurred the other morning with one of my 4 year olds while we were sitting in church waiting for chapel to start:

K: Can I look at the book (hymnal)?

Me: No, not yet, we need to wait for chapel to start.

K: you mean when God comes?

Me: Well, God is already here, He's everywhere.

K: Then who's the guy who goes up front?


I just laughed and explained that he was the pastor of the church, not God. :)

Free falling - HYC check in

yeah I'm free! Free Fallin'!

But I'm definitely not happy about it.

Routine. Being prepared. 2 things I crave to be successful. 2 things I do not have this week. I feel like I am flailing around, trying to grasp onto something and failing. Even if I do manage to grab hold, I lose my grip. this sense of free fall is extremely scary but only sends me faster and faster toward the bottom. I HATE THIS FEELING! For the better part of 2 weeks, things were going great. The power I was starting to feel was intoxicating. I made decisions I wanted and desired. The scale and my body were starting to respond. I loved it. A few bad choices and down I go. How can I get a strong hold on the choices I want to make? Why does a little success scare me so much? Why must I seek failure? I have the power to do this and yet I would rather give in and feel miserable. It doesn't make any sense! I am so tired of feeling like this and whining and complaining and feeling powerless, when in truth, I have all the power in the world to make my body into something healthier.

Ok, enough of that sh*t. I have started walking again. My knee is feeling much better from last week (although I still need to see the doc) and the last 2 mornings before school I've done my mile walk. I'm still not walking right and it feels weird, but I am happy to be walking.

Goals for this week: Get myself to the store, prepare my menu to the choices I want to make and they will be easier to make. Keep up the walking on these gorgeous fall mornings :)

Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em

Yeah...I'm talking about men.

I don't have much of an active dating life, life just seems too busy right now to deal with that and trying to change my lifestyle at the same time...plus work and church and everything..it's just a lot to do. I guess I'm living without 'em for now, but I would like to find one I could eventually end up living with. the ones I have in my life right now just aren't working.

First there's C...we became friends and see each other once in a while...he's not really all that strong in faith, so I know that the future doesn't hold anything for us as far as serious, but we have a good time together and that's important too. I'm just wondering if there's something more.

Then there's R...very cute, laid back, hard worker, laid back, fun to be with...oh and did I mention laid back? He thinks nothing of being a little late when we say we are going to meet around 2:30 and i call at 2:40 curious to know where he is and he's just getting out of the shower, oblivious to the time. Or going for weeks without talking or going out and then calls up and says "lets hang out". I don't really think that's for me either. I'm not really laid back, so I wouldn't mind having a partner who is...but I think this is a little much.

Now we get to J...good looking, funny, smart, a little ADD but a hard worker, caring, same strong faith as myself, laid back, but not too much. I have a terrible crush on this one..lol but I don't think he really sees me as anything more than an acquaintance/friend. Oh, and his ex looks like a barbie doll and is a lot more outgoing than I am...I guess my extra weight and shyness really aren't interesting to him. We're friendly, but that's about it. Maybe we would be good together or not, but I still have a big crush on him. He has the goofiest grin that makes my tummy quiver each time I see him smile.

Now enter K...someone I met through a site..talk on the phone once in a while or text...tried a couple times to meet up for a movie or something, but couldn't happen. Out of the blue he asks me out for friday, I say ok cuz he's still a nice guy and I like talking to him, and he says there's something he wants to talk about with me. I ask what, and he says he's been thinking about it and would I want to be his girl? Now, if we talked more often than once or twice a month I wouldn't be so surprised or taken aback. I told him we'll meet on Friday and I'll discuss with him my feelings on the subject then, not through texting.

I guess I don't really have a point to this. Maybe I'm meant to find and be happy with myself before I find a member of the opposite sex to share my life with and be happy and make him happy.