One week

OK, so I set up some goals for myself and I gave myself the time frame of One week in order to do it. If, at the end of the week, I have completed my tasks, I will reward myself with a movie.

Goals: walk every morning (or evening) and do my strength tape every other day.


it's not much, but I needed to set a goal and reward to get myself going on a regular basis. I have a history of being sporadic with these things and it's crazy. So, what will I do after one week? do another week, I guess. I hadn't thought that far, just want to get through the first.

I've also set up a plan to be more careful with my portion control.

I've been wondering this past week, after my ah-ha moment about struggling with myself, I've been so much happier, but I haven't changed any of my habits. So, I was wondering..do I really like being morbidly obese? Do I really enjoying eating such large portions of food and sitting on my ass all the time? My energy fades quickly these days so I sit around reading or on the internet or in front of the television. Is this really a life I enjoy? After all, this is what I do and I'm not struggling anymore and much more peaceful.

I know it is not healthy to continue at this weight, but am I really happy being the way I am? Am I really, finally, happy with myself? So much so, that I'm finally ready to change? It's not going to be easy. It's a daunting task really, to set myself against years and years of living this way, feeling this way, being this way. Do I really have the perseverance, the discipline, the audacity to change myself? For my journal tomorrow, I am going to make a list of reasons why....not why I would be happy, because that would imply that I'm sad..and I'm no longer sad (about my body). But reasons why I would be happier and why my life would be easier to shed this extra person I have carrying around on my bones.

Perhaps that is why I have given myself the time frame of one week. When one has years and years of habits to change, one week doesn't sound that bad. After that, I think, I will just add another week, etc.