Looking up again

I keep meaning to write more often, but it seems as though life just keeps getting busier and busier. Last weekend I spent an amazing weekend in Arizona visiting my family and having a great time enjoying the weather. I love going out there to visit...surrounded by people I love and people who love me...and a nice warm sun in March :)

Things are doing better on the emotional side as well. It's the same old familiar cycle of doing good, then for some reason sinking down and eventually coming back up again. It's kinda scary on those times I sink down and I just get so tired of struggling all the time just to maintain and not gain, not to mention trying to actually lose the weight. I've been focusing on the problems I have at school and things I need to do and instead of continuing to moan about them, I'm concentrating on doing it better. It's such a load though, I could really use someone to help me out on a regular basis and take some of the responsibility of being treasurer. It's a volunteer position and is at least a part time job...unfortunately it's one that doesn't pay. I have some other responsibilities in addition to just wanting to spend some time with my family once in a while and relax so I don't burn myself out. Ahh...the joys of being an adult I guess.

My focus this month is to get away from the fast food as much as possible and once in a while have a planned indulgence instead of constant junk food. My exercise is up as I really, really want to be in training for the 3 day walk for breast cancer. We are planning some events coming up to have some fun and raise money for the walk. My hope is that if everyone I come into contact with, who sees my message will donate at least $5, my goal should be reached in no time at all! But it can't be done without the help of many, many people! I know that we can make a difference!

The bottom of the barrel

Seems my mood goes in these cycles...I'm going good on the way I want to be going and then I get off track, spiral down until I hit bottom and then start to climb back out again. I know that struggles are supposed to make you stronger, but this is really starting to wear on me. I totally hit bottom the other day (but it did include a 2 mile walk), then found out my friend's baby died during childbirth and that was it. Ate a dinner from Wendy's that was enough for at least 3 people and went to bed the worst I've felt in a long time. The next day, I couldn't hide how I was feeling for a million bucks. I know my students were totally puzzled about my attitude, but I really couldnt' fake it anymore. By midday, I had recieved a gift on my desk from one of my parents (it was Teacher Appreciation Day) and she gave me a new scarf and it was that one simple gift (she knew I just started buying scarves) that put a smile on my face again and I could feel the duldroms lifting again. I still have so much to do and it seems like I have no time to do it, but things seem a little better now and my students are happy that their teacher seems like herself again. And so am I. I'm not back to normal, but I'm getting there again. I stepped on the scale and I had gained 10 lbs. Now, I know some of that was water, but some wasn't, I've been eating horribly. But this morning I was back out of the 280's to 279 again, and that helped. Most of the hopelessness I felt is gone again, but I know some of it still lingers. I've really been thinking lately about getting some professional help, but I'm not sure where to go or who to go to. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I need to make some changes.

What a weekend!

It was crazy, it was full and I am thankful that it did not seem to go too fast! Friday night I had some friends and family come over (including my adorable 9 month old nephew!) and help me move some things around in order to get ready for my new roomate to move in. Included in the crowd was my cousin Mel who was starting her spring break and her boyfriend from Germany, who turned out to be a really great guy! Fun, witty, great sense of humor and not too bad on the eyes! We ended up leaving my house and going to my sister's and didn't get to bed until around 2. They left early the next morning for the drive to her parents house in Maryland.
Saturday was more cleaning and more moving in getting ready for the roommate...as was Sunday. Sunday evening she brought over her first load of stuff and my friend R stopped by for a while. After she brought over her second load of stuff (including 3 cats!), we all went out to find something to eat and stayed out 'til about 12:30. We found a local bar that has pretty good food and a DJ that was playing some awesome music (who tried to get my new roommate to go home with him! LOL)
So here I am...Monday morning and back at school..but this time I get to be in my pajamas! It's Lutheran school's week and sort of a spirit week for us including PJ day, sports day, crazy hair day and red white and blue day. One of the days is also teacher appreciation day and we get a special lunch from Olive Garden or someplace nice like that. We do a student appreciation day too where we get a half day of school and let the kids go rollerskating at the local rollerskating rink.

This also starts week 2 of the training for the 3 day walk for breast cancer. I didn't do too well on the walking last week, but a little is better than none and my goal for this week is to do more than last week and keep building it up. Hopefully we'll have some nice days so I can go outside and walk.