Mixed emotions

Yesterday bombed. In a bad way. I feel as though I've barely started and I'm already off the wagon and can't pull myself up. It's such a busy, stressful week, and I can't wait for school to be finished for the summer. I just don't have the strength to make the hard decisions that shouldn't be hard at all considering it's for my good health and well being. My stomach is reminding me of the injustice I did yesterday. It is very upset right now, although I am a little stressed as well.

This morning I was hit with some news that has literally left me breathless. You could probably knock me over with a feather right now. I teach at a small school. We are struggling pretty badly right now, but there are people willing to work to make changes and turn things around. I believe in my school and the people here and the education we offer. And there are certain people that I know feel the same way. Or at least I thought I did. One family in which I have become particularly close to has decided to go to a different school next year. I am completely blown away by this news. A million emotions are going through me right now. Was I a bad teacher? I mean, I know I can always do better, but am I really that bad? I feel betrayed. These people that I love and trusted are deserting us and don't believe in us in the way I thought they did. I know people have a right to send their children anywhere to get an education (and they should!) , but I thought they were on our side. There are definite pros and cons to our school, but I believe the pros outweigh the cons, and I thought this family did as well. How can we hope to survive with actions such as these?

I know these things are not in my hands...if we are meant to close, then so be it. But I'm not willing to go down without a fight and try and make things work. I know all I can do is pray and pray that God uses me the right way to do His work.